I’m around the bend of finishing my edits for my second book in a different series then Bloodlines. Its the one I wrote for Nanowrimo. I think its better then Bloodlines since I was put in a place where I had to get words out within a month. I usually pace myself thinking of whats going to happen next but not as fast as with this manuscript.
Panic Mode
I’m on the second to last chapter of edits and I’m beginning to panic because a great writer has offered to look over the manuscript and give me feed back. I never had someone critic my work so I’m not sure how to handle it if she doesn’t like it or I haven’t done a great job of telling a story. This story entertains me, I’m not sure if it will be entertaining to others. Will it make sense to her where she isn’t guessing what I really mean? Should I go over it again? Possibly scrap it and start over again? I’ve looked at this manuscript so much that I’m not sure what holes need to be filled, what characters need more human emotions. I hate to have her come back to tell me it sucked or didn’t make sense. I don’t want to send in half-arsed work that I know I can do better on. Perhaps I should look at it in a light that I need a second pair of eyes?
Suck it up
So as I sit here typing taking a break from the edits wondering if these characters are fall in love worthy, I’m just going to suck it up and send it to her once I’m finished and work on something else until I get that email. I know my beta will be kind enough where I won’t go and run off the face of the planet to spin head over head in the void of space in tears. But its my imagination that’s getting the best of me. I am not one for failure and I have not tried to let others read my work outside of just writing for friends who have given me ideas I put it together and wa-la here is a short story for ya.
Moral of the ‘story’
Rejection! It comes to the best of us. Especially if I’m planning on sending this manuscript out to agents towards the end of 2011. If I cannot take the words of a great writer who has more talent then I have and can learn from, then this shouldn’t be a place for me. But I wholeheartedly believe I was meant to entertain you with my stories even if they don’t see the light of a bookstore. I need to embrace that there will be harsh words said to me by anyone of my work as long as these harsh words come with reasons why. I will grab myself by the metaphorical bootstraps and proceed with the edits until the end.
Thanks for your read!
Insane Writer...a Blog!! 
Hi Nicole, I agree with you that putting yourself “out there” can be a scary thing. However, no matter how great this writer is, don’t take anything too much to heart. You have to remember we all like different styles, and reading about different subjects. When I let other people proof read or edit my work I ask them to point out grammatical or spelling errors, unanswered questions they have, continuity issues, or anything they would like me to expand on.
Whether someone likes your style of writing or not is purely subjective to them, so don’t be disheartened. On the other hand, if this writer loves it, that’s great. Everyone will have a different feel for your work, but don’t ever let that stop you from believing in yourself.
Jane x
Thank you Jane. That made perfect sense. And its true not everyone will like my style of writing. I am going to take your advice and put more faith in myself. Thank you for your comment. I enjoyed reading it.
I think we all panic the first time we give our story out to another to read. By the time we get to that point we’re in love with the story and it’s agonizing to think another will say it’s crap. But once you get over that bump, you get excited and eager to see what the person’s suggestions are in hopes of making the story even more lovable.
You are right, I am actually getting excited for the suggestions to make my story more amazing than I think it is. And I did panic when I sent it off but things are okay now. Thank you so much for your comment. Its helped me.
Personally, if an awesome writer wanted to read my stuff and give me feedback, I’d be psyched. I guess I have thicker skin, but I’d look forward to the input. Or at least, I like to think I would. It may be because I have many years of practice at taking constructive (and sometimes not-so-constructive) criticism. Or maybe I’m just a freak. Can’t rule that one out. 🙂
But seriously, look at it this way. In the end, this writer person will have an opinion. It may or may not be valid. And frankly, unless that writer’s going to pay you for your stuff, his/her opinion is at most helpful and at the least irrelevant. Remember Heinlein’s rule #3: Never re-write except by editorial demand. The key word is editorial: someone who’s PAYING you. Now I may be just a newbie at this, but that makes total sense to me.
I guess my point is don’t sweat it. The worst that happens is the writer hates it. But that doesn’t mean it actually sucks. There are plenty of best sellers who I think suck. I’m sure you can think of a few you have similar feelings toward too. There may be plenty of people who will think your stuff rocks. Taste is purely subjective, after all. And even if he/she does hate it, it’s not a commentary on you as a person.
It’s not personal. It’s business.
I have thick skin in certain areas in my life. I’ve written solely for myself. I never took myself too serious when it came to writing and wanting to share it with another pair of eyes. But writing has been a passion of mine for a long time. I just think too much and psyche myself out. I want this desperately that I’m afraid to fall so hard on my butt that I have a hard time getting back up. But I do love rule #3 and you are right its not personal, just business. And again your correct when you stated that my work wouldn’t necessarily suck, readers have different interests. So hopefully I get some feedback that will further help me and not totally let me down. I know my beta will treat me kindly with words of support and constructive criticism. Thank you for your comment. Greatly appreciated.